Bad science in action!

‘My God, Professor Strange! You’ve made yellow!’

I was watching the boxset of ‘Fringe Series One’ on DVD this week. Not my fault, it was recommended to me, and not simply by a friend who said: ‘want to see The X-Files with a different name?’

It’s not like that! The X-Files was a TV show about conspiracies involving paranormal activity! This is totally different: it’s a TV show about conspiracies involving ‘Fringe science’. And as we know, ‘Fringe science’ is totally different from that paranormal rubbish. I mean it’s science for a start – it just looks very similar to that paranormal rubbish. And ‘Fringe’ has a scientist in it, so there. OK, he is technically mad – really mad. He happens to have been in a mental hospital for the last 17 years, but still seems to have done the groundwork for every modern major scientific development and plenty more that haven’t yet seen the light of day because of that ‘impossible’ problem.

I was instantly reminded of my list of ‘Great Science Moments on Film’. I am obviously not talking documentaries here, nothing by David Attenborough or even Walt Disney. I am also putting to one side the marvellous moment in ‘The Man in a White Suit’ where Alex Guinness takes delivery of an electron microscope (a No Prize to anybody who can tell me the exact make).

No, I am talking about THOSE moments. You know them:

The one where the ‘scientist’ puts the specimen into the electron microscope through the viewing window! Or how about when Britt Eckland throws a guard into a vat of Liquid nitrogen without realising it would raise the temperature and cause the Jame Bond baddies entire base to explode? Hate it when that happens. How about adding electrical sparks so that we can see a nerve cell firing? Yes, that helps too!

I am not talking Bad Science here – at least not of the ‘loud explosions in a vacuum’ variety. No, it’s bad lab science that gets to me more, I mean it’s one thing challenging the entire structure of the known physical universe, it’s another to show people doing a ‘DNA analysis in 10 seconds’ – I mean that hurts, it’s personal.

Yes, I know science generally does take time to do and I know that isn’t necessarily to the benefit of a fast-moving action show or film, but the question is – are you therefore making the right film? Instead of making ‘science’ a plot contrivance – simply tacked on – why not make it crucial to the story? One of the best plot lines is still the ‘race against time’ and there has to be more than one way using it; something other than the exponential spread of a bacteria/virus/alien that is. How about this:

‘Come on Doc, have you cut those Epon sections yet?’

‘Calm down, Detective – you know Epon resin takes 12 hours to polymerise!’

‘Can’t you just chuck it in the microwave?’

‘It’s not the way we do things here, Detective!’

So, what would I like to add from ‘Fringe’ to my list ‘Great Science Moments on Film’? I think we can safely add the whole boxset – can’t wait for the next series mind.

Dr Tel

And for those of you who may never have caught Alex and the electron microscope, go out and buy the marvellous ‘The Man in the White Suit’ immediately: